Friday, March 03, 2006

Shabbat Dinner Musings

The food was perfect. Small potato pancakes with avocado spread and smoked trout for starters. Carrot ginger soup with a touch of orange. Brisket, rice, cabbage salad with a vinegar marinade, and a butternut squash savory pie. Cut mango with gramoedilla seeds.

Nicki and I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. My mascara was running down my face and she kept breaking into an American accent so uncanny I almost forgot that she was a former Jo'burger with a fake British accent. "Lans, that is so awesome!"

Snippets of the night:

A. Jo'burger: "Girls, go to the SPAR and buy some parve ice cream for the mangos."
Ilana: "But that means I have to drive. When I turn on the air conditioner, it smells like urine. And leaves are coming out of the vents."
Jo'burger: "Don't care. We need ice cream with the fruit. And make sure it's kosher."

B. Ilana: "Nicki, I think this Ferrero Rocher is stale."
Nicki: "Just bite off the nuts and suck the ball inside."
Nicki's Mom: "Girls! It's Shabbas!"

C. Jo'burger: "Ilana, do you always wear heels? Is it like, hey it's Tuesday morning, let me put on some heels?"
Ilana: "Pretty much."

D. Jo'burger: "I think the Chief Rabbi needs to grow a longer beard."

E. Jo'burger: "What's the word that sounds like the sound of the word?"
Ilana: "You mean an onomatopeia."
Jo'burger: "Oh, yes, like a barking dog."
Nicki: "But that's only when you say barking like you are actually barking. Not just the word barking."

F. Ilana: "I think you guys should bring a real American neoconservative to speak to the Jewish kugels. They'll love it!"
Jo'burger: "You mean like Billy Crystal."
Ilana: "On second thought, maybe Barak Obama as an emerging major American politician. He's a really good speaker and tolerant."
Jo'burger: "That won't work."

G. Jo'burger: "The Chief Rabbi inscribed his new book to me.... Judaism is a set of values."
Jo'burger Male: "Where's the chapter on sex?"
Ilana: "Actually it's about how Judaism values female sexual pleasure and the connection between the sexual bond and emotional intimacy."
Jo'burger: "Pass the brisket."

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