Thursday, March 02, 2006

Girl Crush

In my heterosexual world, a girl crush is a non-sexual/non-romantic obsession with another female. My last girl crush occurred in about sixth grade, with a teacher I misguidedly thought very "glamorous." If only glamour was as simple as using half a bottle of stale Elizabeth Taylor Passion eau de toilette per day and wearing Sam & Libby ballet slippers with faux leather skirts to teach middle school English. That entire foray into obsession was quite pathetic and culminated in me forcing my parents to eat dinner at the Yorktown Inn (completely and utterly geriatric) to hear the above crush "sing" at the piano bar. Oh, and the Bat Mitzvah invitation. I wish I could forget the entire incident, and use this entry as my last public mea culpa, but quite a few of my friends like to remind me. "Remember when you followed Mrs. X into the teachers' lunchroom?" "Remember how Mrs. X let you wear her fur coat when you babysat?" "Remember when Mrs. X said you were her best friend?" "Remember when Mrs. X asked you to shoot her if she ever got as fat as that lady at the Willow Grove Mall?" Yep... I remember. Thanks for reminding me though!

Anyway, my new girl crush is Jo'burg glitterati. She is taller than me and has a blond bob, icy blue eyes, and perfect skin. Her accent is completely unplaceable but definitely not South African. Every consonant is crisp. Every meal has wine. She's Swiss and German but lived in London for ten years. Her mom moved to South Africa, and after a year in Cape Town, she followed her to Jo'burg. Her clothes are amazing--- she wears capris with open-toed rounded heels with a Dior blazer. We tried on each other's rings.

She only passed her driver's license test this year, and we are both scared to merge on the N highways. We can only handle the M driving 120. She likes to order calamari salads and cuts the calamari in symmetrical ovals with perfect knifestrokes. Late at night, she'll order steak frites and eat each french fry with precise grace.

We're having dinner at LongMeadow in Fourways next week. She says it's like being in France- "we'll sit in the veranda, drink wine, and it doesn't even feel like Johannesburg." I can guarantee her manicure will be perfect and we'll chat about books and London and food and taking a roadtrip together although we are both too chicken for the National highways (the Ns).

She always tells me that some of her German relatives are Jewish.

She's of Jo'burg, but not really Jo'burg at all. No flash and pink sequins and rhinestones and frosted hair. Just elegance and a Chloe Paddington bag.

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